Anxiety

shivering frigid memory
that I have done something wrong
that I have forgotten something
that I didn’t do this thing….
I forgot to close the refridgerator door
that was somehow left open
deep down inside my stomach
and the feeling leaves me subltly confused
and agitated
and anxious.
like my whole body going cold, chilly from the inside out.
like a waiting to find something that will never meet a need
like an air that will never let in comfort unless
the door is closed.
like the neon light
in the middle of the night
that cripples my eyes’ chances
at sleeping
through an insomniatic attack.
(where did the Warm of peace go?)
like a feeling that i have always done something wrong
like guilt, shame, remorse.
I forgot to close the door, I forgot, I forgot…everything is My fault.
I forgot.
and now the chill is crowding my senses.
can You close the door, my mistakes?
so I may fall back into dreams
so  I can be comfortable under the blankets of my childhood prayers
so I can shut my eyes to my pillow
and find Your peace?

 

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